As I clean up the kitchen from another successful kid-made breakfast, I can't help but feel a bit sad and a bit confused about my role now.
My husband and I are separating. The kids have not been told yet.
So, I have to continue on as normal as possible. Help the kids make breakfast and serve it to daddy in a bed I no longer sleep in. Smile and take pictures. Try not to think about the 100 things I'd rather be doing.
As I read all the Father's Day blogs and tweets, I can't help but feel a bit nostalgic. Every family's Father's Day celebration is as different as the family they are in. There are all kinds of dads that love our kids. I loved how our main mama Ann-Marie described the dad in her house! I guess it will be up to me and my ex-to-be to redefine what Father's Day looks like now.
My own father did not take an active part in mine or my brothers' lives. I am so glad it is different in our family. My kids' dad is extremely active in their lives. As I watch him playing soccer with them, I am happy that he has such a great relationship with them. However, it is incredibly difficult to have positive feelings about this when there are so many negative feelings about our failed marriage.
So although I'm confused about my role on this day and although I am definitely feeling a bit sad, one thing is very clear. This day is for him. It is for our 3 incredible children to celebrate him and all that he does. My personal feelings for him don't get a vote today.
It is also a clear glimpse into my current and future reality. When it comes to co-parenting our kids, my feelings are going to have to get stuffed often. It won't matter if I'm frustrated or mad at their dad; I will always have to show my kids that their dad is special and wonderful - because to them, he is.
Such an honest post. Follow your heart and head for the future.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! The best thing you can do for your children, is facilitate a good relationship between them & their father. You will never be able to step in and take his place, so no need to try. Be as strong & loving as a mother as you can. Hopefully your stb-ex will do the same. Children are resilient. As long as they know they are loved and cared for as much as ever, you will all make it through this.
ReplyDeleteSo proud of you Marcy for putting the kids first today, and always. Keep on being positive and family focused and you and your ex will make this as easy as possible on your kids.
ReplyDeleteAwesome post. It will be hard, but it sounds like you know what is best for your kids, and your family will get through this!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Very honest and probably a lot of people can relate. Thanks for sharing :)
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